Calvin Trillin's biting satire is in next week's New Yorker. Excerpt below.
QUESTIONS FOR PRESIDENT BUSH'S NEXT PRESS CONFERENCE
by CALVIN TRILLIN
Friendly question: Sir, although your supporters' predictions that Iraqis would greet our troops with flowers haven't been borne out, isn't it possible that, given the problems with the water supply and the infrastructure in general, there is a serious shortage of flowers over there and that Iraqis might be greeting our troops with flowers if Iraqis had any flowers?
Follow-up question to friendly question: Mr. President, in your budget for the reconstruction of Iraq, is there any money specifically earmarked for rebuilding the Iraqi cut-flower industry, and, if so, would any American company be able to bid on that contract, or would they have to go through your friend Joe Allbaugh's consulting firm?
Zen question: Sir, if the ability of the Star Wars ABMs to hit a nuclear missile is imaginary and the nuclear missiles in Iraq are imaginary, does that mean a Star Wars ABM could hit an Iraqi nuclear missile?
Follow-up question to Zen question if answer is yes. Then could that be verified?
Follow-up question to Zen question if answer is no:Would you consider that justification for having gone to war against Iraq?
Strategic-planning question: Sir, now that you've acknowledged that ...